14.4 C
zaterdag 13 juli 2024
Home* HumorColumn van Rob!: Letter to Mr. Donald Trump

Column van Rob!: Letter to Mr. Donald Trump

Dear mister President,

This will be a great letter. Absolutely fantastic. I live in Purmerend, the Netherlands. Its a great city above the smoke of the capitol Amsterdam. Actually its a suburb of Amsterdam but the people here are still in denial. Nice people though. You will love it. We have a playground called the Speelkraam runned by volunteers. Great fantastic people. Volunteers everywhere in this city. Wherever you look you will see them. Ofcourse we also have a town center but we destroyed the half of it in the last century. Just because we can. The townsquare is the Cowmarkt. Great square in the center. Fantastic history there from the past. Great bars. Great fantastic restaurants. Great services. Theres also a statue with cows. Really, really nice cows. Its true.

We have a great center with local shops. Its amazing. Great entrepreneurs, fantastic people. If you walk there you can hear a pin drop, some entrepreneurs say in the local papers. The half of the shops are for rent. There empty now. Wich is not so great. And as you maybe know we have the Milkywaybridge. Its a great bridge, really, really nice design. Its in the top 10 of bycicle bridges worldwide. Its iconic. Its supericonic. Its megasupericonic. Its true. We have 80.000 people living here in complete harmony. To make sure to keep the city harmony intact we have a great police force. Great guys and girls. Its fantastic. Doing a great job. Also an outstanding fire arms force. They know how to fight fires and grab pussies from rescue. Amazing people.

We have a mayor to, called Don Axe. I dont know exactually whats he doing but its a fabulous guy, although some wil disagree with me. I guess he will clear his agenda when you come here. He is a liberal to. You will love him. We have a great fantastic town council of 35 members. Also we have 5 alderman, formely we had 4 but because our fantastic and great national government has thrown some new laws over the townfence they wanted a 5th one. Some alderman are fabulous, some are not in for a joke. Fantastic people though. Really open minded. Really true. In this great town we try to help eachother out. We try so hard that its great to see things happen. We call that citizensparticipation. You have to see it, its great, its fantastic. Really true. Amazing.

Shopping malls are everywhere. We have a Jumbo, Plus, AH, Deen, Vomar, Aldi and Lidl. Great fantastic supermarkets. Great prices. Big places with really nice and fantastic staff. Supurb public transport is everywhere in our town. Busses almost in every street. We have also three trainstations. Not one equal size town in this fantastic country has more then us. We dont have refugees. The city council dont want them. The people dont want them. Its garbage, some locals say. Others say there amazing and fantastic and will make Purmerend great again. Also we have two coffeeshops where you can buy pot. Great dutch pot. The best, best in the world. You should try it when youre here. And now you think where the walls? Well we have that to. Its on the Locksquare. Big old substructure walls. We digged them up for the future so we can examine them if we need a design to build a great wall around our fantastic town.

We have also the best Shoarmafarmer of the Netherlands in our great town. Its in the Newstreet and its called Babylon. We will eat something absolutely fantastic there when you are here. You will love it. Amazing food. We have some grazy weird guys running around in our streets. Some is cleaning our streets from litter for free. Its true. The other is controlling the traffic if he wants to. And we have the Beusebos. A little forest wich is the same size of our towncenter. They wil cut it down soon for an hotel, the towncouncil say. Its not even a Trump Hotel. You have to see it. You will love this town to. Its amazing. Its great. Its fabulous. Its fantastic. Maybe you can buy this town. Then we can call it Trumperend.  You have my number, so call me. Will i see you soon?

Sincerely yours,


Parodie: http://www.everysecondcounts.eu

Steun Regio Purmerend met een kleine donatie. Alle kleine beetjes helpen en moedigen ons aan om nieuws te blijven maken. Voor iedereen. Alvast bedankt.

Gerelateerde artikelen


Vul alstublieft uw commentaar in!
Vul hier uw naam in


Onze Socials


Het weer

half bewolkt
14.4 ° C
15.1 °
13.9 °
81 %
84 %
16 °
19 °
23 °
21 °
16 °

Laatste berichten

Laatste reacties

Chat openen
Tip de redactie!
Tip hier de redactie van Regio Purmerend of stel uw vraag.